How Nereus Retreats in Costa Rica Killed My Dog
How a "healing" retreat center in Costa Rica negligently killed our dog, traumatized us, and harassed us.
12/2/24 Update: "The dangerous lies of Stuart Millar and Nereus Retreats."
SHORT VERSION:
Elise is a yoga teacher has known Nereus owner, Jen, for five years. She was at Nereus this spring to host a retreat and yoga teacher training. Since our trip was so long, we traveled with our two small Pomeranians to Costa Rica and rented an AirBnB 10 minutes from Nereus. Jen and her husband Stuart have a dog, Girly, at Nereus who is not friendly to dogs in her space and that is why we rented an AirBnB instead of staying on site.
On May 29, Stuart walked Girly down the beach in the vicinity of our AirBnB unleashed and left her behind unattended when he returned home. We were on the beach with our dogs on the leash. Girly found us and attacked us. In the weeks following, we were trapped in Costa Rica trying to save our dog. Sadly, she succumbed to her injuries and we had to put her to sleep. We returned home over a month later than anticipated.
Starting the night of the attack, Jen assumed responsibility for what happened and promised to pay our vet bills. She repeatedly assured us of this, in addition to promising to pay our AirBnB cost and rental car cost for the time we were trapped in Costa Rica.
Shortly before Gingko died, Jen suddenly went back on her word and said she would have to “cap” what she “contributed,” at $4,000 (a randomly generated sum that did not cover our in country expenses). She stated that dog attacks are not uncommon in Costa Rica and that she had no legal liability to us because people in Costa Rica do not pay for these sort of things. She paid us $4,000 and we never heard from her again. We received 0 communication, condolences or apology from Stuart or anyone else associated with Nereus.
After returning home to the states, Elise received hateful, harassing messages on photos of Gingko on Instagram from Jen & Stuart’s daughter, Abby Millar.
We want to protect anyone else from harm - physical or emotional. If we as “friends,” have been treated this way, how will others be treated? We remain worried that Nereus is a place of business in the wellness and eco industry with a dog on property that is unsafe to have around other living creatures with owners who have clearly demonstrated their inability to be responsible for such a dog.
Anyone working in the healing and wellness industry has a duty and responsibility to uphold the ethics they promote in their business and it is for that reason that we can never in good conscience recommend Nereus Retreats as a safe haven for healing and wellness. We would not recommend that anyone attend or host a retreat at this space or do business with these people. Despite a beautiful location and great food, the appearance and image of a loving, safe, eco-friendly community put forth by Jen and Stuart does not match the cold, uncaring reality of what’s behind the scenes.
FULL VERSION WITH DETAILS AND EVIDENCE BELOW
Update: 10/05/24
As of today, Nereus Retreats has gone through and removed all traces of Girly from their Instagram and Tiktok accounts.
Update: 9/29/24
We have shared our story via posts on TikTok and in less than 24 hours of creating our TikTok account have already received harassing messages from Abby Millar, daughter of Jen and Stuart. See the original story below for evidence of Abby’s prior harassment on Elise’s Instagram page back in August 2024.
Please scroll to the bottom to read Gingko, our dog’s, story. She was a beautiful, gentle girl who had a very hard, sad life before being rescued by us. She was innocent and did not deserve to be brutally attacked on a beach and to die a slow, painful death far away from home. She was supposed to have found her forever, her happiness, free of pain and suffering until the natural end of her days. Instead, her life was ripped from her and her memory was disrespected. We want better for her and for all creatures. We refuse to accept the way things are, and we choose to believe in the way things can be.
Even the smallest creatures can have the biggest impact. Everyone and everything deserves safety, health, happiness and love. We are all responsible for each other, forever, and we hold that responsibility in our hearts.
Remember Gingko and let that be her legacy.
We are Elise & Sal and this is our experience at Nereus Retreats in Puerto Jiménez, Costa Rica owned by Jen and Stuart Millar.
Elise is a now former friend of Jen’s. They met five years ago during their own 300 hour yoga teacher training, also in Costa Rica, and she was so excited to learn that Jen was achieving the dream of opening her own retreat center this year. We first visited Nereus before it opened to the public in January 2024 when we stayed onsite for a few nights and helped to set the space up. We made beds, hung artwork, filled shampoo bottles, folded laundry and Sal even installed the entire sound system in the yoga shala. We were happy to do so just to be in the beautiful space.
This spring, we returned to Nereus so that Elise could co-host a retreat and assist in leading a 200 hour YTT with fellow yoga teacher and friend, Michelle, from April - June, 2024. We traveled as a family with our two small dogs (Pomeranians Juniper & Gingko) to Costa Rica for the extended trip. After consideration and in speaking with Jen prior to our travel, we decided to rent an AirBnB about half a mile down the road from Nereus because Jen & Stuart have a dog, Girly, who is not always friendly to other dogs in her space. Jen advised us that it was not safe for us to stay on site with our dogs and Girly together, so we rented the AirBnB and never once brought our dogs to the vicinity of Nereus or ever had them off the leash while they were outdoors.
Girly has previously attacked the gardener’s dog, random dogs on the beach outside Nereus and we learned upon arrival that she even attempted to attack the neighbor’s dog on a planned walk together. We know this because Jen and Stuart talk about it freely, describing Girly as still partly “feral.” Guests at the retreat center are also aware of this, since it’s such common knowledge. During the entire time that we were at Nereus from April - May, Jen and Stuart never leashed, enclosed or restrained Girly despite her unpredictable prior attack history. They permitted her to roam freely about the property which is unfenced from the public spaces nearby.
On May 29th, the day of the YTT graduation ceremony, Elise was on property at Nereus and Sal went to the beach at our AirBnB (10 minutes away from Nereus) with our two dogs. Our dogs were leashed and they were sitting quietly in the shade with Sal. Girly appeared from nowhere and attacked them. Jen and Stuart were nowhere to be found. Girly grabbed one of our dogs, Gingko. She threw Gingko to the ground, shook her and shredded her skin. Sal had to fight Girly off (Girly also knows him since he was also on property daily for meals), and he was screaming for help but there was no one around. Girly growled and snapped at Sal. He managed to escape and called Elise & Michelle immediately to pick him up and rush to the vet.
The entire YTT group was affected by this, as we left quickly and missed the graduation ceremony - Elise never got to say goodbye to any of the trainees and they all knew what happened. Elise never returned to Nereus again afterwards.
Imagine that you were sitting peacefully alone on the beach and someone came up from behind you and stabbed you in the back. That is exactly what happened here - Girly came from nowhere without provocation and brutally attacked. We know that day that Stuart and a friend had walked down the beach all the way by our AirBnB with Girly unleashed and that’s why she was in our area and not at home at Nereus. He then did not supervise her as they walked back home to Nereus. They left her behind alone, and unwatched. As Sal screamed for help during the attack, no one was around because Stuart had left.
Gingko was seriously injured. She underwent a lengthy surgery at the vet to stitch her wounds, which covered her entire back body. The vet said that it was the worst dog attack she has ever seen. Gingko was not permitted to travel home to the US due to her injuries, so we were stuck in Costa Rica as she healed. On the night of the attack, Jen assured us that she would be paying for our vet bills and stated that Girly must have seen the dogs as “prey” and attacked them.
Warning: Graphic Images of the aftermath of the attack
In the beginning, we all hoped that Ginkgo would recover and the vet was optimistic despite the severity of the attack. As time passed, healing was slower and slower. Days and weeks passed and Gingko’s health declined. Her wounds became infected and antibiotics stopped working. Her organs began to fail, she could not keep food or water down, her body temperature hovered at hypothermic and her heart became weak.
We spent her last night on earth staying up the entire night with her to administer IV fluids and oxygen every 30 minutes, at home by ourselves because there were no emergency vet services available to us. On June 20th, after three weeks of fighting, we had to make the heartbreaking decision with the recommendation of the vet to put our beloved pet to sleep to end her suffering. We were, and are, heartbroken, traumatized and devastated.
In the end, after so much time, we could not even return home immediately after Gingko passed, because we had to wait an additional NINE DAYS for her ashes to be returned to us. We flew home with her ashes in a wooden box.
We are very lucky that our other dog, Juniper, was not harmed and that Sal was also not injured as Girly was growling and snapping at him. Girly knows Sal as he has been at the property many, many times and interacted with her often in the past. It could have been anyone and any other dog on the beach that day, it just so happened to be us.
We re-iterate that this is not the first, second, or third time that Girly has attacked another dog. This was a terrible tragedy but it was also preventable negligence caused by the irresponsible ownership of Jen and Stuart. The Millars and everyone on the property are fully aware that Girly cannot be trusted with other dogs and yet they did not take proper precautions to protect others from her. The Millars neglected their responsibility as dog owners and our dog paid the ultimate price.
As a matter of public safety we shared a photo of the Millar’s dog on a local Facebook group so others knew it was dangerous. We received a comment from someone who lives in the area that they were allegedly also previously attacked by Girly on the beach, and that Stuart said he would put her on a leash.
The trauma we went through during this time is hard to even put into words. We were trapped, alone, in a very remote part of Costa Rica for a month as we tried everything we could to save Gingko. We spent upwards of 6 hours daily at the vet, had every test run, administered medicines around the clock, cleaned her wounds, kept her on a heating pad to stabilize her temperature and syringe fed her food and water milliliters at a time to try to help her keep something, anything, down. We had no family, no support and we were doing this all in a second language and culture that is not our own. We are lucky that the veterinary care we received was wonderful, supportive and kind. Without the compassion of the vet and his staff, we don’t know where we would be.
This experience has been a living hell and nightmare come true only made worse by the fact that Elise’s former FRIEND, Jen, assured us over the weeks that she would be paying for our vet bills, car rental and extended AirBnB stay, only to rescind that offer as weeks passed and Gingko’s condition worsened. When Jen found out how much our vet bills were adding up to, she suddenly told Elise that she would be “capping” how much they could “contribute” at $4,000. No mention of a cap was ever made before, in fact she had REPEATEDLY stated she would be covering these costs.
Our costs in Costa Rica for vet (including euthanasia and cremation), AirBnB and car rental are somewhere around $6,500 - $7,000. In reality, this has cost us so much more, starting with the loss of our beautiful Gingko. We also had gas expenses, ATM withdrawal fees, food costs, and flight change costs all within Costa Rica. While we were stuck in Costa Rica we were also unable to work (Elise is a yoga teacher at home for multiple studios) which led to loss of a month’s income, we had to cancel our upcoming 10 year wedding year anniversary trip to Italy where we were supposed to also see our family, and incur all those cancellation costs, we have a cat at home waiting for us that we had to pay a cat sitter extra for, among so many other costs. These are all trivial in comparison to the loss of our pet, but the financial burden adds insult to injury especially given the dishonest communication from Jen, who was supposedly a friend.
The emotional and psychological costs of what happened to us can never be quantified. We will never be the same. Sal has flashbacks and night terrors about the attack. We are both now struggling with anxiety, panic, insomnia, depression and PTSD for which we need to seek treatment (another financial burden). Our other dog, who was so carefree and social before, is now terrified of dogs she sees in public and refuses to go outside if it’s dark. We even had a death in the family at home during the time we were stuck in Costa Rica and were unable to attend services or be with our loved ones. We will be dealing with the consequences of this trauma for years if not the rest of our lives.
Jen has added a more damaging layer on top of it all by rescinding her word to us, to cover the most basic of our costs due to the negligence in controlling Girly. She did even less than the least she could do. Our sense of trust in safety in the world and in people has been completely shattered.
Jen’s explanation for not covering the entirety of the costs can be seen in the screenshots in the attached photos. She told Elise that she holds no legal liability for this “sad ordeal” and that “people in Costa Rica” do not pay for these types of things. She told Elise that she spoke to a dog behavior specialist who said that Girly has “predatory drift” which is “not uncommon.” She took a very long time responding to our messages towards the end and Elise had to message her several times to even get a response and to get Jen to even pay the $4,000 “cap.” We do not know why she suddenly broke her promise, changed her attitude towards us, and decided to treat us this way.
You don’t need a behavior expert to know that the FIRST time a dog attacks, it needs to be immediately remediated with steps taken by the owner so it does not happen again and you don’t need a lawyer to know that this is not how you treat a friend in their moment of need, ESPECIALLY when that moment of need is YOUR FAULT. We are curious what this dog behavior specialist would have to say about the choice Stuart made to walk Girly unleashed and leave her behind unsupervised given her prior aggression and attacks on other dogs.
Having been reduced to “people do not pay for things like this in Costa Rica,” as Jen said, is not only painful to us - it’s ridiculous and illogical. We are not Costa Rican and neither are any of the Millars. Jen is from upstate New York and Stuart is from the UK. Last we checked, most people in Costa Rica also do not own million dollar hotel properties or can afford to buy residency and start a wellness business in a country that is not their own. The Millars have every resource available to them to not only take proper precautions and education to control Girly, but also to do the only thing they could have done to make this horrible situation somewhat better by covering our basic expenses while in the country. They simply chose not to because they said there is “no legal recourse.”
That aside, we have a five year pre-existing relationship and Jen herself knows how much our dogs mean to us. We have heard her with our own ears describe our dogs as our “babies,” and yet when everything was on the line suddenly our trauma and loss was reduced to legal recourse and “people do not pay for things like this,” and “it’s not uncommon.”
We reject this narrative and refuse to conflate legality with morality. As a yogi and an alleged friend, Jen should know what the right thing to do is. The way things “are” is a reflection of the choices we make and the beliefs we hold. Jen has made her beliefs abundantly clear via her choices.
We did not receive any communication let alone a single expression of condolence from Stuart or any of the rest of the Millar clan besides Jen (at my insistence) after Gingko’s passing, despite having lived and worked alongside them for 5+ weeks and having helped to set up their retreat center back in January.
Sadly, there is no legal protection for dogs who are attacked by other dogs in Costa Rica. We have done the only thing we can do which is to file a report with SENASA (Costa Rica’s national animal health services). It is unfortunate that none of the prior attacks were reported with SENASA because if they had been, there would have been consequences for Girly given the repeated attacks. We have also filed a report with the OIJ (Office of Judicial Investigation) in Costa Rica for the Millars’ negligent dog ownership and failure to pay what was promised and owed to us. As it stands, the Millars have faced no consequences for what happened to us as a result of their negligence other than them paying us their randomly generated sum of $4,000.
As if all this wasn’t enough, a few weeks later Elise was the victim of harassment by Abby Millar, daughter of Jen and Stuart, who was also listed as a member of the team at Nereus Retreats on their website up until recently. While she is no longer listed there, she now lists her employment as a substitute teacher at Greeley-Evans School District 6 in Greeley Colorado, as well as a Library Associate at High Plains Library District. On August 7th, 2024 Abby left more than 10 comments on Elise’s personal Instagram page. The comments, left on photos of Gingko, included harassing messages such as: “burning in hell waiting for you”, “my dog eats the rich hahahah (blood emoji)”, and “I hope you are doing badly with only one stuffed animal.” Elise had to make her Instagram private as a result of this and other feared potential harassment.
We are sharing this information for the purpose of speaking truth, to honor Gingko’s memory and so that of our experience at Nereus and with Jen, Stuart and Abby is known and witnessed. We choose to shine a light on what has happened to us rather than live in fear or silence.
We want to protect anyone else from harm - physical or emotional. If we as “friends,” have been treated this way, how will others be treated? We remain worried that Nereus is a place of business in the wellness and eco industry with a dog on property that is unsafe to have around other living creatures with owners who have clearly demonstrated their inability to be responsible for such a dog.
Girly is advertised as a feature of Nereus - you can see her on their Instagram page advertised as their “retreat dog,” - and yet, according to her owners and her behavior, she is an unpredictable predator? We would hate to be a guest at Nereus the day that Girly mauls another dog or any animal who crosses her path unexpectedly, and then to be told that it’s “not uncommon.”
People and animals have a right to be in public spaces without having to fear for their lives or safety. Gingko had a right to be on the beach that day, feeling the sunshine on her face and enjoying her life. Someone else’s entitlement took that away from her. Someone else’s entitlement has made us fearful every time we step out in the world now. Someone else’s entitlement has taken the life of an innocent creature, has taken away our precious love and, what’s worse, has attempted to make us feel as if we deserved it, should accept it and are powerless against it. No.
As yogis, we commit to ahimsa, non-harm, and to satya, truth, among so many other ethical principles as part of our sacred practice. If we do not speak, who will? If we are silent like the others who were attacked by Girly, who else will suffer as a result? Gingko was the first murdered, but not the first harmed.
If someone knowingly causes harm and does not take responsibility for it, are they a safe space? If someone makes a promise and breaks it, or says one thing and then does another, can they be trusted? If someone claims to promote wellness, healing, and safety and then acts the way that the Millars’ have acted, do their words match their actions? If someone is careless about the lives of other living creatures simply because there is no legal recourse, would you trust them with your life or the lives of your loved ones? In our opinion, no.
Negligent dog ownership aside, the way that Jen treated us after the attack was a choice that she made. The way that Stuart and the rest of the family treated us, radio silence, was also a choice that they made. Neither of those choices were made with love, care or compassion for us as human beings or for our dog as a living creature deserving of respect. They chose to add a layer of trauma and pain on top of what we were already enduring. They acted in a way that was selfish, entitled, cruel, complacent and dishonest.
Anyone working in the healing and wellness industry has a duty and responsibility to uphold the ethics they promote in their business and it is for that reason that we can never in good conscience recommend Nereus Retreats as a safe haven for healing and wellness. We would not recommend that anyone attend or host a retreat at this space or do business with these people. Despite a beautiful location and great food, the appearance and image of a loving, safe, eco-friendly community put forth by Jen and Stuart does not match the cold, uncaring reality of what’s behind the scenes.
We have included on this site below the screenshots of Elise’s entire WhatsApp conversation thread with Jen, starting from the night of the attack. This conversation substantiates everything we have written here and demonstrates Jen’s character in her own words. We have also included photos of Ginkgo throughout her journey - please be warned they are graphic and upsetting.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and bear witness to our story.
lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu
may all beings everywhere be happy and free and may the thoughts words and actions of my life contribute to that happiness and that freedom for all.
Elise & Sal
Warning: Graphic Images of the aftermath of the attack
Gingko’s Story
Gingko was a 7 year old rescue Pomeranian. We had just adopted her 17 months prior to this incident. She started with us as a foster dog, but quickly stole our hearts as she did with everyone who met her. Before we made the decision to formally adopt her, the rescue organization had wanted to rename her “Tinkerbell,” and we tried calling her that for a while. One day, we called her “Gingko,” because that is what the rescue in Korea had been calling her. Her entire face lit up with recognition. From that moment on, she remained Ginkgo. Our Ginky girl.
She was silly, funny, sweet and so loving. She was a puppy mill dog in Korea where she endured horrible conditions for her first 6-ish years of life. She was forced to breed, she had her vocal chords removed so she could not bark, she showed the marks of several previous dog attacks, and she even had a double knee surgery in Korea before coming to the US, all without a family to love her. She flew all alone in a crate under the plane from Seoul to New York to find her new life.
The first day we picked her up she stared into Elise’s eyes for the entire car ride as she licked her face. She grew and healed so much in her time with us. When she arrived, she was afraid of hard wood floors, afraid of toys, didn’t know how to play with other dogs, and afraid of men. You could tell that she had spent her life making herself small. With love, time and the help of our other dog Juniper, she blossomed. She and Juni would play together every day - biting each others’ legs and running circles. Her signature move was the twirl - she would twirl for treats, twirl for meals, twirl for potty and twirl for excitement. Her favorite toy became a tiny, yellow, plush duck squeaky toy. She made up a game where she would pretend to protect the duck and we had to steal it away from her. She gradually grew more trusting of everyone and everything. She loved soft blankets and comfy cushions. Her favorite thing was sleeping in our king sized bed with us every night. She would curl up next to us, always making direct physical contact all night long.
She was sweet, pure, innocent and she never hurt anyone or anything. She had a right to be in a world free from harm. She had a right to go to the beach and enjoy the sunshine and the sea and the beauty all around her. She was only 7 years old and she had so much more life ahead of her that was meant to be full of joy and love. She did not deserve her last weeks on this earth to be full of more suffering and fear. She did not deserve for her pain and tragedy to be reduced to a “sad ordeal.” She was a living, breathing, creature with a soul like anyone else and she deserves respect and reverence.
It was an honor to know her and to love her for the short time we had together. We will miss her every day and we are grateful to have given her even 17 months of happiness, but we mourn forever the loss of the life she deserved and could have had.
The herb Ginkgo is known worldwide as a plant remedy that helps with circulation to the brain- thus boosting brain health and memory. So please, we hope that you will remember her. Remember her story. remember how she overcame the odds to find her forever family. Remember that even the smallest creatures can have the biggest impact. Remember that everyone and everything deserves safety, health, happiness and love. Remember truth and integrity. Remember that we are all responsible for each other, forever.
Remember our beautiful Gingko as she was here in her photos, shining, silly and full of love.
We know that she will be with us forever and someday we will meet again.
We love you, Gingko.
